A Room of My Own

It's been a while since I've truly posted a blog on here, and I felt tonight was a good time because of what's on my mind.

My whole life, I grew up sharing a room, so I never knew what it was like to have an entire room to myself. I grew up so used to seeing a cluttered room with things everywhere and just the minimum amount of space. Anyways, I come home from work, and the first thing I notice is that the lights in the room aren't on and my brother's car is gone, so I think that he just went out or something. I walk in and ask my little sister where our brother is. She tells me that he moved out. I go to my room, turn on the lights, look around, and, the next thing I know, tears start streaming out of my eyes. I stand there in silence as the tears keep coming. I knew that he had been slowly packing here and there the past few weeks, but I didn't think it would be this soon.

To me, it feels as if a part of me's gone permanently. Growing up, he was the one that got me into the games that I'm into now. By not holding back whenever we played, he pushed myself to be better. We never really spoke with each other much, but we've always had an understanding and sense of respect between us. We watched out for each other without having to ask.

I guess what makes me feel so bad is that I feel that he's being forced out of the house because of our older sister. A part of me also feels that it should've been me that moved out of the house because it technically was his room.

*sigh*

It just feels so empty now...

I guess the least I could do is make the best of this opportunity. This is definitely going to take some getting used to.

Holy crap...

It's been over two years since I've blogged...I might start up again. We'll see.

Fantasy (My version of Katy Perry'sTeenage Dream)

Had a hard time deciding between "dream come true" and "fantasy" when I was working on this. Let me know what you guys think. Oh, and I was inspired by this version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbt93u8z6k0


I know you're beautiful, no matter what you wear
I know you're wonderful, no matter what you do
I knew you had me, the moment you looked at me...me...

When you passed by, I caught a glimpse...
And when I finally saw you, I put on a smile
Now every time I see you, I can't help but stare...stare

You are like, my dream come true
I believe, you are
I will prove, my love for you,
You will see
Then we'll be together

You make me feel like I'm in a...
Fantasy
The way you make me feel...
Feels so good...

Let's fall asleep and don't ever wake up
Don't ever wake up
My heart drops when you walk away
Just one kiss, now baby I'm in love
This is love, feels like a dream
So don't ever wake up...don't ever wake up

When you are with me, my heart begins to race
I was broken, but then you made me whole
You finally found me, my one and only love
I've been saved

You are like, my dream come true
I believe, you are
I will prove, my love for you,
You will see
Then we'll be together

You make me feel like I'm in a...
Fantasy
The way you make me feel...
Feels so good...

Let's fall asleep and don't ever wake up
Don't ever wake up
My heart drops when you walk away
Just one kiss, now baby I'm in love
This is love, feels like a dream
So don't ever wake up...don't ever

I will never leave your side
No matter what you say
In this fantasy we're in

Let me kiss your lips once more
To know this isn't fake
Like this fantasy we're in...we're in...we're in
We're in

You...make me
Feel like I'm in a fantasy
The way you make me feel
Feels so good
Let's fall asleep and don't ever wake up
Don't ever wake up

And my heart drops when you walk away
Just one kiss,
Now baby I'm in love
This is love, feels like a dream
So don't ever wake up...don't ever

I will never leave your side
No matter what you say
In this fantasy we're in

Let me kiss your lips once more
To know this isn't fake
Like this fantasy we're in...we're in...we're in

Taking a break from women today...

So, I would have continued writing about women today, but my philosophy teacher actually talked about something more interesting: Happiness. We've all heard our grandparents or someone wishing they could have lived a happy life or something of the sort, but what is it really? How do we achieve it? What does it mean to us? It just made me really think about it and I've been thinking about it ever since class.

First off, we all know that happiness is like this feeling that makes us feel really good, but the bigger question is how do we achieve it? To me, it depends on what type of happiness you're going for. There are different types of happiness. There's the short term happiness that you feel for achieving something from acing a test, doing great in a speech, and things like that. Then, there's the whole "I just had some good sex" happiness. This would probably fall under the short term list, but I think the happiness after having sex lasts a little longer than like a few hours compared to everything else under the short term list. There's that random happiness you get by having a good day where everything just seems to be going your way. Can't forget the happiness you get when see a really good friend or relative you've been dying to see. Maybe the happiness from being relieved from something you hate would fall under this as well. Who can forget the happiness when you're with a loved one? Oh yeah, there's that happiness you feel when you start reminiscing about the good times you had. Finally, there's the happiness you feel when, at an old age, you realize that you've lived life the way you wanted and achieved what you wanted to while watching your kids, possibly grandchildren, while hugging or holding your husband or wife. For you women, there's always that happiness of satisfaction of fulfilling what your body desires when you're on your period or a shopping spree...whichever suits your mood. Silly me. I almost forgot the drunk happiness although I'd consider it something I like to call "false-happiness".

Now, with short term happiness, it's fairly achieve. After all, all one would need to do is get something they really wanted or achieve something they tried really hard for. In general, this short term happiness usually lasts for mere moments and is easily cut short by bad news. This feeling is nice, but so short lived that is usually just a brief moment unless it was a major accomplishment. Most of the time, people achieve this moment of happiness and enjoy it while they can. But since it's so short lived, it's easily overlooked and forgotten.

We all know the "I just had good sex" look that comes with the happiness. Both men and women do it: The whole can't-help-but-smile-after-a-good-session-of-sex look. Yeah, you all know what I'm talking about. If you don't, then you will know in due time. Try and hide it as much as you want, but once you've had a good or much needed session of sex, you can't help but show it. It just shows somehow even if you aren't smiling. I would go more in-depth with this, but sex isn't really my area per se. Anyways, from what I've read, it's got to do with chemicals, endorphins I believe, being released during sex that cause this type of happiness. Now, this happiness usually lasts for a good while, but it can also be cut short by bad news just like any other happiness.

We've all had a day, where everything goes or starts off so right that we can't help but smile or feel good: The weather is perfect, everything goes the way you want it too, and you just can't help but just appreciate the day. It usually lasts the whole day and you just can't explain it. It's like you've reached paradise or something. It's, without a doubt, one of the best feelings in the world. If anything, this is probably what most people try to achieve or consider happiness.

There's that happiness when you run into a relative or a good friend of yours after you haven't seen them in a while. Your whole face just lights up with a smile, and you just can't help but feel happy. Sometimes you two just start chatting and then one thing leads to another. The next thing you know, the days over. Sometimes this feeling carries on through out the day. Afterwards, you can't help but think about them.

Personally, I don't think there would be anything more satisfying than being an old man seen my children and grandchildren all grown up and having fun over a barbecue. I think it would be a mixture of happiness and satisfaction: Happiness from seeing my family and satisfaction at seeing them having fun. If anything, this is what we all hope to achieve for our happiness. This is what we think happiness should be: Having a good family, with a nice house, and our children doing well. It gives us a sense of us having accomplished something and makes us feel good knowing that our children will be fine.

I know that the title says that I'm taking a break from women, but I just couldn't leave them out. Women, I know you all know how good it feels to satisfy that craving of your during that time of the month. You want something so bad, and you just crave and crave it. When you finally get what you've been craving, you feel a sense of satisfaction and slight happiness that you've finally slayed that craving that's been driving you mad. Unfortunately, from what I've seen, unhappiness usually follows right after since it only takes like one bite to satisfy that craving and then you don't want anymore. I know that I, as a man, probably have no sense of how satisfying it truly can be, but I get the gist of it.

Of course there's the ever popular method of just drinking alcohol to achieve a state of happiness. Now, most of you might disagree, but I don't consider this true happiness. Yeah, I admit that it's a way of feeling better. There's no doubts about that. After all, one usually has fun and  goes out when they drink. All of your problems are usually forgotten...until the next day of course. I feel that since you're "forcing" yourself into this state, it isn't a natural happiness. Instead, it's a forced one where you detach yourself from world around you to make yourself feel better.

I feel that happiness is something that comes naturally. You can't force it or try to reach it otherwise you'll be disappointed. I mean, yeah you can reach it in a sense of you accomplishing something, but you feel that you finally got something out of the way more often than not when you accomplish something. Honestly, if we were happy everyday, we would be unhappy because everything would just be so boring and redundant. We need that bit of unhappiness to feel happy. It's like not knowing how satisfying food really is when you've been starved or when you've been smothered by one's love that you long to feel unloved just to know that everything is real. We need to have something taken away from us for us to appreciate what we have. Happiness is one of those things. There cannot be no death without life just like there cannot be day without night or men without women. You need to be sad to be happy. Just be sure not to be too sad because happiness can only bring one up so high.

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Taking a break from women today...

Before I continue with this, I would like to say, SCREW YOU FIREFOX FOR FREEZING ON ME! Lost 30 minutes worth of typing and the draft didn't save much >_<. Anyways, on with the blog!

So, I would have continued writing about women today, but my philosophy teacher actually talked about something more interesting: Happiness. Yes, it is a state of being, but what is it really? How do we achieve it? What does it mean to us? It just made me really think about it and I've been thinking about it ever since class.

First of all...



Sorry folks..got too demotivated..will finish this when I get the chance.

Women...again

I'd like to start this blog off with a point I touched off with last blog: Women and their over-analyzing. Once again, I apologize in advance if I offend any of you.

Now, I admit that sometimes you women will have good reason to be suspicious of your partners, but sometimes you just need to give them the benefit of the doubt because it isn't anything at all. I've seen women overreact because their partner didn't text back or pick up their call right away. After they hear from their partner, they confront them about cheating on them and whatnot. Most of the time, their partner didn't reply because they were busy with something, got to their phone a little late, or were even just napping. In some cases, the partner is willing to talk it out, but other times this type of behavior is what leads to cheating. I'm sure you women don't like it when your partner's constantly checking in on your or overreacting when you respond like a minute late or something. The same goes for your partner. I've also seen surprises ruined because of women that were way too over-analyzing. Like I said before, sometimes your partner has a good reason for not answering your questions or hiding something. If you've got a surprise ready for a partner, I'm pretty sure you'd be frustrated if they were constantly questioning you what it was or accusing you of things. If he's talking to another girl, it could be a co-worker, classmate, old friend, or, in some cases, a relative. Try not to jump to conclusions too quick...listen to how they act and how they speak to each other. When you're too over-analyzing, it makes you seem paranoid and no one wants a super paranoid partner. If you want a relationship to work, there's gotta be trust and confidence in your partner. Also, you have to be willing to hear your partner out. If you know they're bullshitting or flat out lying, give them a chance to explain themselves and then call them out on it.

Damn...it's getting late >_<. Well, I'm off to study for my midterm. I'll either continue on this or write on a new topic later.